Lost...

No, I am not talking about my favourite TV Show. I am totally lost on how to let you know that I care for you and that I love you and that my intentions are noble (i.e. I would want us to get married someday). I do know you will have a million questions such as 'How could I decide so soon'? Do I really understand the meaning of marriage? Do I really know you that well to make up my mind? Do I not realize that you are in a family situation where you cannot think about taking such a big step? And more importantly what makes me worthy of such a great girl i.e. you?

Other than the last question which is for you to decide, I can only attempt to answer the remaining questions.  The moment I saw you I knew that you were the one. Yes, I do love you and it is because of you that for the first time I know what love really means. I have thought about you every moment, every day since I first met you until now. You have not escaped my thoughts for even a second. Every waking moment and even in my dreams, you are always there. YOU are my dream! You are the one and I have not been more surer than this in my life. 

My happiest moments are when I receive an SMS from you or I talk to you on Whats app or on the phone :) I try to keep myself away from you only for the fear of scaring you away. I yearn to talk to you but I try and resist writing to you or calling you up too frequently. Try as much as I can, I fail everyday. I am unhappy till the moment we have communicated. After we have spoken, I am the happiest person in the world. I know that my happiness starts and ends with you. I know no feeling stronger than what I feel for you. 

Your happiness means everything to me. Which is what brings me to the question about your family situation. I know dad is not well and you love dad more than anything else. I know you have to ensure that dad is okay and be close to your family always. I know your life is in Delhi and my work and career is in Dubai. I know it will be very selfish of me, even if you agree or are willing to, to ask you to sacrifice anything for me. How do we do this then, supposing you trust / like me and things move forward? I have the following in mind:

1) We will wait till dad is ok. We need his blessings if things are to move forward. Without his blessings, we do not want to proceed. After marriage, naturally your parents become my parents. I am as responsible for them as you are. I want a wedding where parents on both sides are happy and present. It cannot be a one way thing. If and when you accept me I immediately become a son to your parents. And being a son means I take care of my parents, all four of them. That is my responsibility and I will never shy away from it.

2) You have no compulsions to leave Delhi. You are an independent woman, you have complete freedom of where and for how long you want to stay. If you become my wife, you become my most important family member and you have complete freedom to live your life the way you want. You can choose to stay for a extended time with your parents in Delhi.  I will never stop you no matter for how long you want to stay. Because I know parents are a blessing, and I cant keep you away from yours.  You can shuttle as much as you want between Delhi and Dubai. You can even stay alternate weeks in Delhi and Dubai throughout the year. I will never stop you because being with you would be a blessing for me and I dont want to lose that on frivolous issues. I would even want your parents to come and stay with us for as long as they like because I want you to not even feel that you have left home. I could even look for a career in Delhi in the future, all things can be sorted out if love and understanding exists between two people. And I want to love and understand you all my life.

3) Religion is not an issue. I was not a religious person till I met you and now I go to the Gurudwara twice every week. If you wish to become a mother, you can decide what religion the children will follow and teach them your values and morals. I am a free thinker and I want my wife to love her life and enjoy it with freedom without me imposing anything on her. 

4) My family knows about you and have been pushing to make a call to discuss this with your mom. They will essentially say exactly what I have written here. My parents love you and wish to welcome you as a daughter in our family. But this can happen if and only if you think I am worthy of you.

So that brings me to the question which you have to decide on. Do you think I can be worthy of you?

I want you to know more about me to enable you to make a decision in my favour :) I know I am being selfish but at least I am honest. I am 32 years old, I have lived my life with as much honesty as possible. I have never had a girlfriend. I do not drink or smoke regardless of what happened this new years. I come from a very simple and humble background. I have worked hard to turn things around for my family. My mom calls me an achiever and a self made man, even though I think I just did my duty.

Although I behave immaturely around you, its only because I love you and I think I can open my heart to you. I want you to know me and maybe like me some day. I may have some flaws but I can always strive to be better for you.

I care about you a lot and I will always keep you happy. Please allow me to do so.

I love you :)

Mani

I showed this to my sister who thought it was beautiful. I read it again and although I do feel it does not even bring out 1% of who you are, I needed to share this with you Mani. Because I do not know what tomorrow brings, life is unpredictable and no one can guarantee what happens next. But I am glad that I  met you in this lifetime :) And the next few lines were written for you ...in full honesty and to the best of my ability (given that I had a plane to catch the same morning :p). 

I walked into an unknown home,

Not sure whom I would meet,

"Is this a good idea I thought"

"Should there have been something which I should have brought"

Less did I know that in an hours time,

I would have met you, Mani.

Mani, a name which has become synonymous with purity,

A beautiful soul who personifies grace and dignity.

At that very moment I already knew,

That this day would never leave my thoughts.

For I had looked into your eyes, mesmerised,

Not only by your beauty, but by your presence, your being, your values.

It's hard to explain in words, Mani,

How special you are in every way.

You speak unlike any person I have ever known,

You make me want to be better, think better, feel better.

Words fall short of how much I have come to admire you,

I don't even want to make that effort in vain.

To put it subtly you are someone who can bring light,

Even in the darkest of days.

I don't know now if it was destiny, fate or plain good luck,

That on the day I walked into an unknown home,

Unsure of who I would meet,

It was you Mani, whom I met,

For what I am taking back with me,

Are positivity, strong values, grace, dignity and purity,

All embedded in your memories.

I dont want you to read beyond whats written in the poem. I just wrote what I felt and I wanted to do my best to make you feel happy. I do not know if I achieved that objective but atleast I tried :) 

The GMAT Aspirer's post

Ok, a lot of my friends have requested for my personal debrief on how I scored 720 on the GMAT. So Mohit, Jiten and the others....this one is for you:

- Remove fear of failure, this is just another exam nothing more nothing less.

- Use the correct kind of materials and in the order specified: Princeton Review, Kaplan Review, Official Guide (10th), Manhattan Sentence Correction, Official Guide (11th and 12th), Kaplan 800.

- Join www.pagalguy.com and indulge yourself in daily discussions on the GMAT forum i.e. don't just read but also contribute.

- Get your hands on LSAT notes and practise from there.

- Give lots of practise tests. Keep tracking your performance and learning from mistakes.

- Track your mistakes, maintain ready reference notes on all mistakes, study in a systematic manner, concentrate on concepts, develop accuracy first and then focus on speed.

- Don't go to the exam with a specific target score, go to the exam ready to tackle anything that is thrown at you.

DO NOT:

- Waste your time and money by joining expensive coaching classes. Use that money to invest in all the books and materials you want.

- Rush through things just because you want to get over with it. Work at your pace, learn to walk before you can run.

- Sign up for the test at the last moment, sign up for it well in avance.

- Let the party animal inside you take over. Abstinence from....will do you more good than harm :)

Phew..enough gyaan or you want more. Let's just sit and chalk out the other details, shall we?

The Awakening

Alright!! Not like the Rang De Basanti, 'A generation awakens' kind of awakening. I just awoke to the need to try my hand at blogging and pen down all the utter nonsense which goes through my mind. I would like to start by informing what my blog will be all about this year:

1. A lot of B-school bull shit!! Yeah, this is my year to go back to college, I have tried my hand at the real thing (read: working as an executive in an MNC bank for 5 years). I somehow still savour my days in college as the best days of my life. So despite all the criticism and the resentment from close ones, I will go ahead with my plans. Because, I believe a good two years at a decent B-school can do no harm.

2. A lot of discussion on sports. Well, this year promises to be full of big events. IPL, followed by ICC 20-20 world cup, followed by the soccer world cup, followed by the Ashes, followed by the Aussie tour to India, followed by Cricket World cup 2011. Phew!!! And not to forget the F1 racing, the champions league games, the EPL, the Spanish Primera Liga. What else a sports fan could ask for?

3. Random rubbish!! A very very personal and indivudal opinion on anything which matters to me.

A little about the Blogger 'to be':
Indian male, banker, 29 years old, very lazy, absolutely good for nothing (ok the last two details were from my dear mom).

Abruptly ending ....time to move on to some other stuff. Will be back shortly with more....